Get it Together

The conversation almost always starts the same way. It most often takes place at the end of the day, when I am tired and I have done something silly like forget to bring my daughter to gymnastics or realized that I have only shaved one leg in the shower that morning.

"I have to get it together"

Six words that hold so much power.  The power to condemn.  The power to feel defeated and less than.  Not one little bit of grace at all.  These six words have decided that I am a mess and I need to fix it and fix it now.  I need to write stuff down, pay attention, drink more coffee, do something to avoid these mess ups from happening again.  Mess ups are not acceptable or allowed.  In my world mess ups are a loss of control and a loss of control is a scary thing.  

So I search for something I can control.  For me that thing has always been my food and exercise.  If I was a hot mess of a mom well I can at least be a fit hot mess of a mom.  I will just focus harder on my nutrition.  Make sure I get to the gym and give it 150%.  I will focus more, be better and get it together.  Then everything will be ok.

The problem with this is that I am human.  I was created flawed (no matter how much I deny and fight this its true).  Perfection is impossible.  I will always mess up.  The circumstances and degrees of the mess ups will change but no matter how hard I try, how tight I hold on, how much MORE I do it will NEVER be perfect.


The definition of grace is "unmerited favor" and for me it is the answer to the whirlwind that is created when I try to "get it together".  I am learning to laugh at my life, mess ups and all.  To take the good with the bad and to just give myself a break.  I remember that I am ok, no matter what and already forgiven.  The mess ups will not define me.  I am loved right now, with all my forgotten appointments and extra slices of pizza.  I rest in who I am, and who loves me.  God quietly reminds me that HE HAS GOT IT and I dont need to keep all the balls of my life in the air.  I realize that exercising and dieting harder will not get me closer to peace, only opening my grip and allowing Him to work in my life will. 

As I learn to let go of food and exercise as a way to feel in control I am developing a new relationship with food.  It has taken me years and I still have times I struggle.  I know that this is the root of so many womens struggle.  

I have been reading the book Full by Asheritah Ciuciu and in it she ask some really powerful questions, a big one being : 

What does your ideal relationship with food look like?

How would you eat?

What  would you feel?

How would you act?

I would love to hear your thoughts on these questions I encourage you to comment below and if you would like to join me in readying Full over the next two weeks you can email me:

As always I am praying for each of you


My Summer Podcast List

I love to listen to podcasts!! They are the perfect background to my day.  I listen in the kitchen while I cook, the car while I run errands and while i fold laundry!  Podcast are a great way to listen and learn.  My tastes range from Crossfit to nutrition to lifestyle.  I also enjoy a good story and some of my favorite podcast are in the form of a serial program just like a tv show.

Since summer is here I wanted to share some of my favorite podcast.  I encourage you to check them out and explore the world of podcast.  Its a great way to get away from the tv and learn something new!!!

you can listen to podcast on your iphone using the podcast app that comes on your phone.  If you are an android user you can listen via the stitcher app or on your laptop or home computer via soundcloud.


Balances Bites

Mind Pump

The Shauna Niequist Podcast

You Must Remember This

Harder to Kill Radio

How I Built This (NPR)

Chasing Excellence

That Sounds Fun

Christy Wright's Business Boutique

Brute Strength Podcast

Girls Gon Wod

Pursuing Health with Julie Foucher



Happy: Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.  Fortunate and convenient. Characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment or joy.

Happiness: the state of being happy.

It had been a long day and it was only 11am.  The morning was a blur of emails, dishes, bus drop off and unending text messages.  I was totally in over my head.  As I walked out of the bank (my last errand till my next appointment in an hour)  I looked up for the first time since I woke at 5am that morning.  The sun was high in the sky and shining.  It was pleasantly warm and there was a soft breeze.  I got into my car and rolled down my windows, I took a huge breath in and out, the air just smelled GOOD, Like spring, my heart skipped a beat.  I closed my eyes and said a simple prayer:


When I opened my eyes the heavy weight of the morning had vanished.  I felt excited and lighter.  All the things I had to do for the rest of the day dissappeared.  I turned up Lecrae and just started driving.  

That moment was happiness to me.  I am so grateful that God has helped me to pause and appreciate these little moments because for a very long time (and sometimes still) I struggle to find those moments.  For the better part of my life happiness had conditions:

1- I had to make 6 figures and have a position of power

2- I had to live in NYC, in the best apartment money could buy

3- I had to be a size 2 

4- I had to have all the fun and friends and places to go to

5- I had to have designer clothes

The list goes on and on.  I was exhausted just trying to keep track of it all.  In reality and upon reflection I was anything but happy.  In my 20's and half of my 30's I drank too much, did drugs, struggled with an eating disorder and could not maintain a stable relationship with anyone.  But to the world I had everything.   I kept telling myself if I kept working I would finally make enough money.  If I went on enough dates I would find the right person.  If I worked out long enough and dieted hard enough that I would finally be happy.  My happiness was dependant on the outcome of each of my days.  I had given over control of my happiness to my job, my apartment, my wardrobe and my pants size.  I focused only on the outcome of my efforts.  Getting what I needed mattered above all.  I stormed through my life like a bull in a china shop, never pausing for reflection or lessons.  Not caring what was broken on my way to the final destination - happiness.

I got really close.  But when I had those rare moments of quiet a feeling nagged at me.  I would get anxious and then get sad.  The feeling was so fleeting, it slipped away as quickly as it came.  It wasen't until I had thought all was lost:  When my husband was out of work and we had $100 in our bank account.  When we lived with my in-laws for 4 years while struggling to get on our feet.  When I prayed everytime I got in my old truck with 200,00 miles, a broken exhaust and questionable steering that I would just be able to make it to work cause we needed the money, and in so many other ways

That was when I realized, that was when I understood.  All of those things I had worked so hard for, the happiness I took pride in earning could be gone JUST. LIKE. THAT.  If I stayed where I was, if Gods grace and mercy and the holy spirit had not intervened I would have never been happy again.  I had nothing to be happy about, I had nothing.  

I learned that even tohugh I had nothing I learned how to entertain a 6 year old by spending $5 at the dollar store.  I realized that date night could be a cup of coffee at the diner and Target and Forever 21 have some great workout wear.  That family walks can be just as fun as a vacation and it is true God will always provide.  The feeling of happy did not cause anxiety or quickly fade.  It was there just waiting for me to embrace it.

So if you are struggling with happiness I understand.  I know exactly what you are feeling.  I challenge you to take a moment look around and take a deep breath.  Ask yourself if you are working for happiness or just opening your eyes and seeing it for the first time.  Are you chasing the moments or building a life dependant on a peace and joy that is unchanging.  Happiness cannot be bought or worked for it is given by God, freely and with grace.





Why the Scale is Stupid

It happens to me at least once a week.  I feel fantastic.  I had a great day, get a lot accomplished, workout feels awesome and my hair has cooperated.  All is right with the world, my nutrition was on point and I had a great afternoon with my daughter.  I got 2 text messages from my clients saying what great results they were getting and how their life was changing for the better.  My bank account is healthy and so am I and my family.  

Then it happens. I wake up and head to the bathroom.  I get on the scale, take a deep breath and look down.  My heart sinks, I have gained 2 lbs.  And just like that all of the amazing accomplishments and victories of the previous 24 hours are forgotten.  I am a failure, fat and like I always knew not good enough.  Why do I even try, I just stink.

What the hey!!! How did 32 ounces get so much power? How did 2 pounds confirm all of the bad and make me forget all of the good? Why did I allow my weigh against the gravity of the earth DEFINE me?

I know I am not alone.  I have experienced this so many times with countless women.  They start their journey and they say that the weight on the scale does not matter.  That their why matters so much more.  They start eating healthy and exercising consistenly.  They start performing better at the gym, start sleeping better and having more energy.  When they check in they have lost a ton of inches and their clothes are fitting better.  Then they get on the scale and all of that is forgotten.  Its like none of it even happened.  They are deflated and disappointed.  They focus solely on that number and nothing else.

I think that there are many reasons this happens.  Maybe as women we remember a happy time in our life when we felt successful and at that time we were a certain weight.  So we are constantly trying to get back to that weight with the hope that the happiness we found at that time will return.  Maybe we were that weight before our kids and we want to get back to that time of freedom.  Maybe it was when we first got married when life seemed so simple and romantic.

The reality is that as humans we age.  Life happens.  And that is an awesome thing.  As we age and have kids our bodies change.  Our hormones change, the abilities that our bodies had at 20 are not the same now that we are 40.  Yes we can hold off aging with nutrition and exercise, sleep and stress reduction but even the healthiest 45 year old is different than a 25 year old and that is fantastic!!

Just like wine we mature and improve over time.  I often say I wish I had my 45 year old brain and a 25 year old body I would be unstoppable!  But I like being 45, I know stuff and I have experienced so much and I am still here.  I have grown a human in my body and birthed her, and I am still here.  I have dealt with ups and downs, joys and dissapointments, you can see them in my smile lines and wrinkes by my eyes.  And the same is true for each and every one of you.  Our tummys may stick out more than they did in high school but I am sure that you would not give up your kids for a six pack.  You may weigh 5, 10 or even 20 pounds more that you did in college but would you give up the life you have lived to lose that weight? 

I constantly have to remind myself that the number on the scale is not who I am.  I am a wife to Adam, mom to Sierra, a daughter of God, a sister and friend.  I am all of those things first before I am an athlete, coach or nutritionist.  I am all those things and not the number the scale says.  I remind myself that my focus and effort should be put into relationships in my life, experiences I have and not the scale.  I remeind myself that when I die what I weigh will not matter.  I dont want to regret anything especially missing anything because all I worried about was getting to 125lbs.

 I have my days when I forget.  When I focus on what doesnt matter.  When I believe the lies in my head and doubt myself and my greatness.  Then I pause, pray and remember who I am.  I am made for so much more than what the scale tells me.  I am made to be a mom, wife and Jesus girl and all those things have nothing to do with the number on the scale.


Take Back Your Time Week Four: Staying on Track

You have made it!!! 

Just like that 4 weeks gone!!! We have discussed the importance of knowing your why, taking action and building your tribe.  This week we wrap it up with my favorite part: staying on track

Everytime I ask my clients or community what the hardest part about living a Fit Inside Out lifestyle is the number one thing they say is "staying on track". 

So many people start on their journey and are so excited!!! They see results, they feel incredible and then at about week 6-8 they just stop.  Why this happens is different for everyone but for most their will power has just run out.  Being 100% on all the time is hard and it wears out your will power muscle.  

So what do you do? How do you stay in the game for the long haul? What prevents the burnout that leads so many to going back to the easy way? 

1- Moderation: this is huge!!! No one can be 100% perfect (except God) forever.  To prevent the burn out I like to keep my life 90/10 or sometimes 80/20.  This allows me to stay on track with my goals but also enjoy life.  I can have a donut and not 12  because I know it is not forbidden.  It is not bad it's just a donut. I think that is why macro counting works so well for so many people.  They can enjoy the foods they love they just need to fit.

2- If moderation is challenging try having one thing that makes you happy.  For me it's a square of dark chocolate every night.  I look forward to it.  It makes me happy. 

3- Keep reminding yourself about your why and continue to challenge yourself: Many times people stop because they get bored.  The same thing everyday becomes a grind.  I love Crossfit because it is different everyday.  If Crossfit is not your thing that is ok.  I encourage you to try a new class, yoga or just take your workout outside for a run.  buying a new recipe book and trying new things helps in the food department as well.

Full Disclosure:  I have weeks where I don't worry about what I eat and weeks when I don't do a crossfit workout.  The most important thing is not that you fail but that you get right back up and start over.  That and not perfection is success.



My donut from today! So good and so worth it!!! 

Take Back Your Time Week 3: Take Action

I love to listen to podcasts.  I especially like to listen to podcast where I learn something.  Learn anything is more accurate.  Business, nutrition, strength training the more info the better.  I like nothing more than to find out a fun fact.  

When I was in college I briefly considered being an art history major.  I loved the story behind a piece of art.  To this day the any museum brings me a lot of joy. 

I realized really quickly that if I didn't USE what I learned on those podcast it really just became another piece of information that I could accumulate.  The famous saying  should be changed to "knowledge is power only when used".  The older I get the more I realize that the best way to be happy and successful is to just do it.  Take action.  Even if it's wrong trying and failing is so much more benefitical than not trying at all.

How does this translate into taking back your time?  Well if all you do is read about it you can't be about it. And all that learning takes time.   If all you do is read about the latest nutrition theory, buy all the cookbook but never actually start cooking you may be spending too much time (and money) learning and not enough time learning. 

so how do you start? How do you take the first step? We have already laid the ground work over the last two weeks.  We have figured out what matters most and we have started to surround ourselves with a tribe of like minded supportive people.  Now we act. Here is how: 

1- Hire a coach:  this is worth its weight in gold.  One of the jobs of a coach is to hold us accountable, that keeps us showing up at the gym with our nutrition, they help us make good decisions.  Hiring someone also puts some skin in the game.  Meaning it's a lot easier to quit on a free online program than one that you have invested your hard earned cash into.  I have a nutrition coach to keep me on track, even coaches need coaches.

2- Join a Crossfit gym:  why a crossfit gym and not a mainstream gym?  Well at a crossfit gym if you don't come to class someone will notice, and call you and ask you to come back.  That's something you don't get at Golds 

3-Do it scared:  It's scary to walk into a Crossfit gym and try something new surrounded by new people.  It's scary to invest money into a coach especially if it might not work but you never know this time it may.  There will never be a time when starting a healthy life style is easy and NOT scary.  Do it anyway I promise that it will be worth it. 

you can take action right now!  Sign up for my FREE 5 day jumpstart and get my mini course to help you get started.  Everyday for 5 days you will get an email from me with another step to jumpstarting your way to a fit Inside Out lifestyle.  I even give you homework to get you to start TAKING ACTION!  

Me at my first Spartan.  It was a super, it was freezing and raining and it took almost 6 hours.  I was terrified almost the entire time.  I did it scared

Take Back Your Time Week Two: Build Your Tribe

I was never into sports as a child.  I didn't start working out till I was 30 years old!!

My sister and I are also 6 years apart so for the first years of my life I was an only child. As a result I have struggled with playing well with others.  Don't get me wrong it is not that I dont like others I love people, and the older I get the more I appreciate my friends.

When I started on my fitness journey I did it the way I was used to  - on my own.  I had a personal trainer and me.  No group exercise classes no gym buddies.  When I got lonely or bored I added another session with my trainer.  But as those first months went on that became a little expensive!! Then I started body building a sport that is notoriously solitary.  Hours on the treadmill and hitting the weights by myself.

Once I found crossfit it was like a whole new world!! The community came first.  I remember my first crossfit competition and being in awe that the person who finished last got the loudest cheers.  The members of the gym where like family.  They went out socially together they shared their lives.  I truly believe that this community was the reason that I have stayed with Crossfit for the last 4 years.  

So how do you create your tribe?  How if you are just starting to fitness journey to you find people who have the same goals you do?  Well happy you asked! Here are my tips in creating a tribe that make you better:

1- You have to put yourself out there:  This is the hardest thing to do! It means steping out of your comfort zone and doing something scary.  It means saying high to a total stranger in your spin class, showing up at a race and knowing no one.  yes it could go horribly wrong but it quite possibly will go right and you will have a new friend!!

2- Dont take the judgement of those in your current tribe that do not support you: Another tough one.  As humans we are programed to want to be likes and belong and it is really hard when people who we have know forever (sometimes even family) are not supportive of our goals.  Or worse are judgemental about them!  The best way to handle this judgement is to realize the IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.  More often than not their judgement is a reflection of their own inability to do what you are doing, and you know that saying "misery loves company"...  Its best to love and release those people.  It does not mean that you can never spend time with them again but before you do realize that you cannot change them and love them where they are.

3- Join an online community or training group:  This one is my favorite.  Yes technology seperates us from real relationships but it also is a good first step when you want to find like minded people.  A good place to start? THe Brick House Bodies Fit Inside Out facebook community!!

Perfect place to meet other like minded women, stay motivated and get great inspiration for meals and just to get through the day!!

But there are dozens of groups on social media it just takes a little research to find the one thats right for you.

God never meant for us to live our lives alone.  As His creation were were made for community.  Building a tribe can be life changing but the change has to start with you.



Take Back Your Time Week One: What Matters Most

I cannot believe that it is APRIL!!!

Spring is going to be fast upon us and I personally cannot wait!!!

Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth.  Things begin to come back to life after a long winter.  For me it is a great opportunity to reaccess and regroup.  To look at where I am and where I want to be and evaluate.  I do this every spring (and again in the fall) but I wanted to share my process with you.  My reasoning is this:

1- sharing is caring

2- it may help you get closer to your goals

3- I have someone to hold me accountable

Over the next 4 weeks I will be outlining the proces that I follow to hit reset for spring.  I encourage you to share what you learn and let me know if you have tried anything and how it works for you.  This week I am going to start with my "why" figuring out what matter most to me.  I believe that your why should be strong, it should be what gets you up in the morning and what keeps you passionate every day.  Having a strong why will stop you from being "busy" and make you productive.  So grab pen and a piece of paper or a journal and lets get started!

but first:

This is not a test, No one is grading it and you dont have to share it with anyone. So just write the first thing that comes to your head no matter how crazy it may be.  No filters.

1- What part of your life are you most excited about?  Why?

2- What part of your life are you least excited about? Why?

3- If you close your eyes and think about your "dream life" what would it look like?  Be a specific as you can be, the more details the better!

4- what is stopping you from achieving that life? Lack of time? Lack of money? lack of motivation? Fear?

This should give you a lot to think about! When I did this exercise I realized that the biggest thing that stopped me from achieving my goals was fear.  And because I was afraid I distracted myself with busy.  My focus this spring is to stop the busy do it scared  and focus on building a community and a business that serves others. My why is that I want to make a difference.  To be part of the change I want to see in the world.  To be God's light.  To love others and help them to love themselves.  

That is a pretty big goal and to achieve it I have to say no to things that do not serve my goal.  This is huge!! So many times I just say YES then 5 minutes later I regret it and then feel stuck and resentful.  So now I try to to repond with "I will thinnk about it" or"I will pray about it "just to give me some time and space to filter the request through my why.  Its like pausing to think before that second slice of pizza to ask yourself if you are really hungry, it slows everything down and stops my pride and perfectionist from answering for me.

So I encourage you to take some time.  You need it.  even if it is just 10 minutes in your car.  What do you REALLY want?  What are your dreams.  Let them excited you, drive you and cause you to take step in the direction of change.  Make it about more than a number on the scale or what size you are in jeans, that is all fleeting.  It will not make you happy.  

share your why in the comments below and I would love for you to join my private facebook community!!