Let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision; you’ll see it yet! Phil 3:15
If only there were more hours in the day
I just don’t have time for that right now
I am just so busy! maybe next week, month, year…
I wish I had more time
I could probably list a dozen more things that I have said and heard from clients. TIME the thing we all want and just don’t have. Unlike money time is finite. You can’t get more and you can’t control it no matter how hard you try. We all have the same amount of minutes in our days. So why when I look on Facebook and instagram do I see so many people being so much more productive with their time than I am???
I had to re think my ideas of time management when I was able to stop working outside of the home and started working for myself. When I worked trading time for money time management was so much easier. I knew I had to be somewhere at a certain time and that I would get home at a certain time. I had to make sure that I could fit everything in around my job; if it didn’t fit I couldn’t do it. I let my job prioritize my life for me. Now that I am home my days are my own. I can choose to sleep in (impossible with a 6 year old and a dog) or stay in my pjs all day. For me this caused a problem. There was no structure. My days would get away from me and at night I would realized that I had gotten nothing accomplished. That’s when I started praying. Asking God to help me figure out this time management thing. How was I going to be productive with my days?
What I came up with is this:
- I learned to say no: This is the number one reason why I feel people are too busy, especially women. We don’t know how to say no. We want to be able to do everything for every one whenever they need us. That caring heart is what makes us women right? For many of us not being able to say no has nothing to do with helping others and everything to do with us. I have said yes to things that I did NOT want to do that would ruin my schedule and make other parts of my life difficult because I wanted the person asking to like me, or to think I was awesome or to not think I was selfish or I was flattered that they even thought of me. I wanted to be liked I care what people think. But I realized that the person asking really did not care about my goals or priorities they just want the thing there are asking for to be done. It’s my job to set my goals and priorities it was silly of me to wait for others to just realize how busy I was and stop asking. I decide if it will be a yes or a no based on these three questions: Does it ultimately serve my goal/purpose? How will doing this thing affect my family (financially or otherwise)? Have I asked my husband? I include the last one because it buys me some time. I can simply say “I have to speak with my husband about that” This allows me to not say yes impulsively and gives me time to really ask myself the other two questions. Just make sure you are really asking your husband or significant other. (It makes them feel included and that’s always a good thing. We are not putting off decisions permanently just giving ourselves time to make better ones)
- Keep your goals front of mind: Last week I talked about setting goals. Once those goals are set keep them someplace you will see them every day. This serves two purposes. One it keeps you accountable and two it engrains those goals in your brain so that you will have easy access to them when the world or your daughters class mom distracts you.
- Sacrifice the good to get to the great: When my goal was to become a work from home mom I spent many late nights away from home. I missed some gymnastics practices and date nights. I was unable to go on a couple of weekends away with my friends and I did not get to shop till I dropped when I wanted to. Yes those decisions where hard. But now I never miss a practice or a date night and because I didn’t go away and I didn’t go shopping every time I WANTED something my family is 6 months away from being DEBT FREE. I say it was worth it. Having what you want, when you want it is awesome but unless you have just won the lotto it’s not necessary.
- Get a good planner- and use it: I am old school. I like paper. Try this exercise. Wake up early by 30 minutes to do it I promise it’s worth it. If you don’t have a calendar get a big piece of paper and make a week 7 columns Sunday- Saturday. On this calendar write down for each day everything that is in your schedule right now. Now take another piece of paper and write down your goals. Compare your goals to everything that you have to do everyday begin crossing out anything that does not serve those goals. Be honest and brutal. Remember your friends and parents at schools are not paying your bills or so what they think does not matter. See how much space opens up. Now fit in the things that will bring you closer to your goals. For example: Your daughter goes to gymnastics on Monday, Cheer on Wednesday and karate on Friday. Tuesday and Thursday your son has soccer and music. Saturday morning is baseball. But you really want to start having a date night with your husband and fit your workouts in the morning before work.
Does you daughter really need karate, cheer and gymnastics? What does she love best? What is she best at? Does your son even want to learn piano or do YOU want him to learn piano? Does date night always have to be on a weekend? If you say no to one activity for each child and have your date night on a Thursday instead of a Saturday (easier time getting babysitter and no crowds at restaurants) you have given yourself two to three free nights so you wont be too exhausted to get to the gym before work and a cheaper more intimate date night with your husband.
You may say how could I take activities away from my children so I can have a date night and work out?? I know when Sierra leaves the house at 18 for college that it is going to be just my husband and me. I do not want to find out in 12 years that we have nothing in common and don’t know each other at all because for the last 18 years we neglected our relationship to give our kids everything
But that is for another post…
These decisions are hard. Uncomfortable even. But if you let go of what others think of your choices, be selective about what you sign your kids and yourself up for (so you can teach them the importance of priorities and doing what matters most) you will realize that no one really cares what you do or don’t do. They will respect you and your time because YOU DO. And ultimately everything that you do you will do with your whole heart because you decided that it serves you and your families goals.