It happens to me at least once a week. I feel fantastic. I had a great day, get a lot accomplished, workout feels awesome and my hair has cooperated. All is right with the world, my nutrition was on point and I had a great afternoon with my daughter. I got 2 text messages from my clients saying what great results they were getting and how their life was changing for the better. My bank account is healthy and so am I and my family.
Then it happens. I wake up and head to the bathroom. I get on the scale, take a deep breath and look down. My heart sinks, I have gained 2 lbs. And just like that all of the amazing accomplishments and victories of the previous 24 hours are forgotten. I am a failure, fat and like I always knew not good enough. Why do I even try, I just stink.
What the hey!!! How did 32 ounces get so much power? How did 2 pounds confirm all of the bad and make me forget all of the good? Why did I allow my weigh against the gravity of the earth DEFINE me?
I know I am not alone. I have experienced this so many times with countless women. They start their journey and they say that the weight on the scale does not matter. That their why matters so much more. They start eating healthy and exercising consistenly. They start performing better at the gym, start sleeping better and having more energy. When they check in they have lost a ton of inches and their clothes are fitting better. Then they get on the scale and all of that is forgotten. Its like none of it even happened. They are deflated and disappointed. They focus solely on that number and nothing else.
I think that there are many reasons this happens. Maybe as women we remember a happy time in our life when we felt successful and at that time we were a certain weight. So we are constantly trying to get back to that weight with the hope that the happiness we found at that time will return. Maybe we were that weight before our kids and we want to get back to that time of freedom. Maybe it was when we first got married when life seemed so simple and romantic.
The reality is that as humans we age. Life happens. And that is an awesome thing. As we age and have kids our bodies change. Our hormones change, the abilities that our bodies had at 20 are not the same now that we are 40. Yes we can hold off aging with nutrition and exercise, sleep and stress reduction but even the healthiest 45 year old is different than a 25 year old and that is fantastic!!
Just like wine we mature and improve over time. I often say I wish I had my 45 year old brain and a 25 year old body I would be unstoppable! But I like being 45, I know stuff and I have experienced so much and I am still here. I have grown a human in my body and birthed her, and I am still here. I have dealt with ups and downs, joys and dissapointments, you can see them in my smile lines and wrinkes by my eyes. And the same is true for each and every one of you. Our tummys may stick out more than they did in high school but I am sure that you would not give up your kids for a six pack. You may weigh 5, 10 or even 20 pounds more that you did in college but would you give up the life you have lived to lose that weight?
I constantly have to remind myself that the number on the scale is not who I am. I am a wife to Adam, mom to Sierra, a daughter of God, a sister and friend. I am all of those things first before I am an athlete, coach or nutritionist. I am all those things and not the number the scale says. I remind myself that my focus and effort should be put into relationships in my life, experiences I have and not the scale. I remeind myself that when I die what I weigh will not matter. I dont want to regret anything especially missing anything because all I worried about was getting to 125lbs.
I have my days when I forget. When I focus on what doesnt matter. When I believe the lies in my head and doubt myself and my greatness. Then I pause, pray and remember who I am. I am made for so much more than what the scale tells me. I am made to be a mom, wife and Jesus girl and all those things have nothing to do with the number on the scale.