Get it Together

The conversation almost always starts the same way. It most often takes place at the end of the day, when I am tired and I have done something silly like forget to bring my daughter to gymnastics or realized that I have only shaved one leg in the shower that morning.

"I have to get it together"

Six words that hold so much power.  The power to condemn.  The power to feel defeated and less than.  Not one little bit of grace at all.  These six words have decided that I am a mess and I need to fix it and fix it now.  I need to write stuff down, pay attention, drink more coffee, do something to avoid these mess ups from happening again.  Mess ups are not acceptable or allowed.  In my world mess ups are a loss of control and a loss of control is a scary thing.  

So I search for something I can control.  For me that thing has always been my food and exercise.  If I was a hot mess of a mom well I can at least be a fit hot mess of a mom.  I will just focus harder on my nutrition.  Make sure I get to the gym and give it 150%.  I will focus more, be better and get it together.  Then everything will be ok.

The problem with this is that I am human.  I was created flawed (no matter how much I deny and fight this its true).  Perfection is impossible.  I will always mess up.  The circumstances and degrees of the mess ups will change but no matter how hard I try, how tight I hold on, how much MORE I do it will NEVER be perfect.


The definition of grace is "unmerited favor" and for me it is the answer to the whirlwind that is created when I try to "get it together".  I am learning to laugh at my life, mess ups and all.  To take the good with the bad and to just give myself a break.  I remember that I am ok, no matter what and already forgiven.  The mess ups will not define me.  I am loved right now, with all my forgotten appointments and extra slices of pizza.  I rest in who I am, and who loves me.  God quietly reminds me that HE HAS GOT IT and I dont need to keep all the balls of my life in the air.  I realize that exercising and dieting harder will not get me closer to peace, only opening my grip and allowing Him to work in my life will. 

As I learn to let go of food and exercise as a way to feel in control I am developing a new relationship with food.  It has taken me years and I still have times I struggle.  I know that this is the root of so many womens struggle.  

I have been reading the book Full by Asheritah Ciuciu and in it she ask some really powerful questions, a big one being : 

What does your ideal relationship with food look like?

How would you eat?

What  would you feel?

How would you act?

I would love to hear your thoughts on these questions I encourage you to comment below and if you would like to join me in readying Full over the next two weeks you can email me:

As always I am praying for each of you


Take Back Your Time Week Two: Build Your Tribe

I was never into sports as a child.  I didn't start working out till I was 30 years old!!

My sister and I are also 6 years apart so for the first years of my life I was an only child. As a result I have struggled with playing well with others.  Don't get me wrong it is not that I dont like others I love people, and the older I get the more I appreciate my friends.

When I started on my fitness journey I did it the way I was used to  - on my own.  I had a personal trainer and me.  No group exercise classes no gym buddies.  When I got lonely or bored I added another session with my trainer.  But as those first months went on that became a little expensive!! Then I started body building a sport that is notoriously solitary.  Hours on the treadmill and hitting the weights by myself.

Once I found crossfit it was like a whole new world!! The community came first.  I remember my first crossfit competition and being in awe that the person who finished last got the loudest cheers.  The members of the gym where like family.  They went out socially together they shared their lives.  I truly believe that this community was the reason that I have stayed with Crossfit for the last 4 years.  

So how do you create your tribe?  How if you are just starting to fitness journey to you find people who have the same goals you do?  Well happy you asked! Here are my tips in creating a tribe that make you better:

1- You have to put yourself out there:  This is the hardest thing to do! It means steping out of your comfort zone and doing something scary.  It means saying high to a total stranger in your spin class, showing up at a race and knowing no one.  yes it could go horribly wrong but it quite possibly will go right and you will have a new friend!!

2- Dont take the judgement of those in your current tribe that do not support you: Another tough one.  As humans we are programed to want to be likes and belong and it is really hard when people who we have know forever (sometimes even family) are not supportive of our goals.  Or worse are judgemental about them!  The best way to handle this judgement is to realize the IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.  More often than not their judgement is a reflection of their own inability to do what you are doing, and you know that saying "misery loves company"...  Its best to love and release those people.  It does not mean that you can never spend time with them again but before you do realize that you cannot change them and love them where they are.

3- Join an online community or training group:  This one is my favorite.  Yes technology seperates us from real relationships but it also is a good first step when you want to find like minded people.  A good place to start? THe Brick House Bodies Fit Inside Out facebook community!!

Perfect place to meet other like minded women, stay motivated and get great inspiration for meals and just to get through the day!!

But there are dozens of groups on social media it just takes a little research to find the one thats right for you.

God never meant for us to live our lives alone.  As His creation were were made for community.  Building a tribe can be life changing but the change has to start with you.



3 Ways to Create a NEW Habit

Something funny happened the other morning.  My routine is pretty much the same every day.  I put my daughter on the bus and then head right over to the gym.  A couple of mornings ago like always I dropped my little one off, jumped in my car and 7 minutes later I was pulling into the parking lot of my gym.  The only problem was that I was expected somewhere else!!! My habit took over and without me even thinking it took me down a path I had always followed. Well I made my appointment (though about 7 minutes late lol) and it got me thinking about habits and how powerful they are.

According to Webster’s dictionary HABIT is defined as:

A behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or performance. An acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.

So many times we hear that we have to “break our bad habits.” That may seem overwhelming.  Eat right, exercise every day.  If you have every tried to quit smoking (I have) you realize that it is not as easy as just stopping.  I want to provide you with a different approach.  Instead of trying to break a bad habit shift the perspective and create a new one.  A habit that better serves your goals.  So here are the three way that I teach my clients how to create new habits.

1-Stop and think. Why did I wind up in my gym parking lot instead of my appointment?  I did not stop and think about what I had to do.  This is the first step in creating a new habit. Habit is involuntary and happens without thinking.  But if we stop for just a moment and think about what we are doing and ask the question “does this serve my goals?"it will cause us to delay the action.  For example, if you always have desert after you eat, once you are done with dinner stop for 5 minutes before you reach for the sweet treat.  Are you still hungry? Will eating this cake serve your goals.

2-Make a better choice. This is the most important step.  Creating new habits about making better choices.  We never give ourselves the time to consider a different choice (see point #1).  In that pause we can make a decision and base what we do next on that decision.  Using the same desert example.  We have decided that we are not hungry so our habit of eating a sweet after dinner does not make sense, we now have a choice.  Some examples of better choice based on some common goals:

If getting healthy is a goal I could decide to have a cup of berries instead of a slice of cake.  Both are sweet but the berries are a better choice.

If getting closer to my family and spending more quality time is a goal I could go for an after dinner walk with my family.  Or I could call a friend.

If growing my relationship with God is a goal I could say a prayer, read my bible or a short devotional

All of these choices serve my goal. Remember your goal and make a better choice.

3-Repeat: Remember habit is created by frequent repetition. If you want these new habits to stick you have to do them over and over again.  Your habit of eating a sweet after dinner may have started in childhood.  It took decades to develop!! You are not going to creating a new one by doing it once or even 5 times.  That’s where people disconnect.  In this age of immediate gratification, we give up when we don’t get the result we want immediately.  Human default is ease and comfort above all else.  When it gets hard and we feel like it would be so much easier if we just ate the darn cake!!!

That’s where the enemy waits whispering in our ear that you deserve that cake.  One slice won’t hurt.   You can worry about getting healthy tomorrow.  All lies to keep us right where we are struggling, frustrated and thinking we are never going to get this healthy living right.

Ladies please be strong!! Remember who you are!! A daughter of a king and not weak!!  Take these tips into your heart.  Take a moment, make a better choice and repeat.  I want to hear about the new habits that you are going to create and what better choices you are going to make.  Please leave a comment and share with me.

All or Nothing

I have said this before I’m an all or nothing woman.  This is in all parts of my life.  I work hard, rest hard, love hard.  It’s the way I have been since I can remember.  I believed it has served me well for the past 45 years.  I have been successful, I have a great husband, I have a great daughter, I have my own business.  Notice the I’s: for my entire life I have run the show.  It has been me and my hard work that has gotten me where I am.

I did a Crossfit competition a couple of week ago and it was hard, really hard.  5 workouts (when there are usually 3) tough competition and my partner and I pushed.  We did well 2nd place, I was really happy with that.  But it took me 7 days to recover from this competition.  I felt like I had been hit by a bus.  My nervous system was shot, my workouts were crap and I was useless to my family. Through it all the word that kept repeating over and over in my head was WHY.  Why do I push this hard, why am I working out for as long as I do each day?  Why do I want to be this supreme Crossfitter?  Why do I care so much?

I came up with a couple of things:

  • I honestly do not know what I would do with myself if I didn’t have the goal of training hard to be a competitive Crossfitter. Who would I be?  I am good at Crossfit people know me for that.  And if I was really honest with myself I know exactly what I need to be doing instead of working out 2 hours a day and I am using Crossfit as a controllable distraction.  Something I can be sure of the outcome of because what God wants me to do is not as clear and straight forward as a 12 min workout.  The purpose he has for me cannot be improved upon in a 12 week training cycle and I won’t be able to know if I did well until I am with Him and He calls me his faithful servant.  No immediate gratification, no podiums.
  • I am afraid that my body will go to crap.  And I am pissed that I care so much.  Again there is no need for me to be 12% body fat.  It’s great but my body fat being that low and me being this muscular is really not necessary.  I can be fit.  I can be healthy.  My appearance is what I am know for, without it who would I be?  What would people think?  Again the all or nothing attitude.  I can’t just be fit I have to be the fittest.  I have forgotten who I am.  Who I am has absolutely nothing to do with my weight or body fat.  Who I am is who God says I am.  No where in the bible does it say I need to be super lean muscular to lead people to Him.  I know what you are may be thinking: it is good to be the best that you can be and I agree but it is NOT good to worship that ideal.  To make it an idol, to define myself by it.

These truths were hard to realize and harder to admit.  Now that I know all of this what do I do with it?  That is still a work in progress.  I am praying A LOT.  Asking for guidance and courage to let go of this need to control and distract myself.  Asking for faith and trust to wait on God’s plan and not to rush ahead on my own.  I am terrified of what the future holds.  Not because I believe it will be bad but because sometimes I don’t feel worthy enough for how good its going to be.

My biggest fear is that I will be average.  What I have forgotten is that I can never be average!!! That fear is a lie.

But instead of starting from a place of average, I must remember what God says I am and that is far from average and that is without doing a thing!



So it is 3 weeks after the competition and I am feeling a lot better physically.  This is giving me a lot of clarity mentally.  I am so grateful for this experience.  It has been a perspective and reality check for me.  It has woken me up to what matters most, what Gods plan is for me and challenged my faith.

What am I doing now? I am working out 5 days a week.  If I am tired I ease off.  If I feel good I push.  As for my nutrition I have not been tracking much at all for the last three weeks.  I am back to tracking with some adjustments and it feels good.  If I start to feel anxious about it I will stop. If I start to think about it too much I will stop.  The key for me is to constantly keep connected and honest about how I feel.  To trust that feeling I get inside when something needs to change.  Allow it to guide my decisions and not get in its way.

5 Ways to Make Breakfast happen

You hear it all the time, “breakfast is the most important meal of the day”.  It is called a break fast because you have not eaten for over 7 hours!!! Breakfast kick starts your bodies metabolism for the day, it is the signal to your digestive system to wake up!  If you work out in the am it is even more important to get something in.  My experience as a coach, trainer and busy mom is that breakfast is one of the hardest meals to get people to eat!  Not enough time, no appetite and not knowing what to eat.  Here are 5 tips that will help you make breakfast happen EVERYDAY:

1-      Plan and prepare:  This is probably one of the most important tips.  If your house is anything like mine mornings are hectic.  Walking dogs, feeding kids, showering leave little time or brain power to make good food choices.  The night before I make my breakfast and put it in the fridge.  I lay out my clothes and my daughters clothes for the day.  I make lunches.  So that when I start my day it feels organized not rushed and I can just reach into the fridge for something to eat. Some good options are hard boiled eggs, overnight oats (recipe at the end) or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. All can be made ahead and are portable.

2-      Drink your breakfast: Many people cannot eat solid food early in the morning.  Making yourself a protein shake or smoothie in the am is a great option especially if you work out early in the am.  Shakes digest quicker and you can drink them on the way to the gym.  You can also make them as simple (Advocare Meal Replacement shake is my go to) or as complex as you want adding fruit, oats, greens milk or yogurt.

3-      Fruit:  Fruit is natures to go food.  It is perfect for the am.  What is easier than grabbing a banana or apple as you walk out the door? Pop some berries in your mouth.  All easy stuff

4-      Cut the caffeine:  Many people say they are not hungry in the am.  But they drink 4 cups of coffee before 10am.  Caffeine mutes your appetite, and if you need anything more than a cup before 10am that lack of energy may be your body’s need for food and not more caffeine.  The body can adapt to anything until it doesn’t anymore then you will need more caffeine and be less hungry and that can leads to all sorts of other problems.  Start small with a shake(adding protein powder to iced coffee is delicious!) then move to a piece of fruit.  No one is asking you to have a stack of pancakes, eggs and bacon when you can stomach a piece of toast.  Ease in and I promise your will start waking up and wanting to eat.

5-      Decide to make the change:  All of these tips are great but its up to you to decide to make the change.  Tell yourself you will eat breakfast everyday for 7 days.  Post it to social media to keep you accountable.  Then turn the 7 days to 2 week, then a month and the next thing you know you will not understand how you functioned without your favorite meals of the day BREAKFAST

Overnight oats:

2 cups old fashioned oats

4 tablespoons Chia seeds

2 cups almond milk


Vanilla extract

I add a little sugar free syrup but that is optional

Mix together in a Tupperware or big Mason jar and keep in the fridge overnight.  In the am add whatever fruit and nut butter you like and enjoy!!!

Why Food Matters

As a Crossfit coach I am inspired everyday watching the members do things that they have never done before. They lift heavier weight, run farther and faster and get stronger everyday!!!

Exercise and moving your body is wonderful. It changes lives and for many it leads to improvements in all parts of their lives. Their relationships their energy levels and the way they eat.

But for some getting on the right track with food and improving their eating habits is a struggle. That’s where I come in, lol. Here are my 5 reasons why food matters:

  • The saying “food is fuel” is true. Many people have lost the connecting between what they eat and how they feel. The body is an amazing thing. Its goal is to continue to function. This means that it gets used to anything and will continue to function … until it doesn’t. If you are eating fast food, drinking too much or just not eating enough you may feel “fine” but that does not mean that your body is at its best. Fine is not great. Why be mediocre when you could be great. I hear it all the time from clients, “I didn’t realize how tired, sick I was until I started eating right”. What you put in you get out
  • You can’t out exercise poor nutrition. Many times people will exercise for hours to “earn” a cheat meal or to “work off” some choices. Neither will work in the long run. This sets you up to view food as something you need to earn or work for, neither of which is healthy. Food is wonderful and has no moral value; it should not have guilt attached to it. You feel guilty when you lie or steal not when you eat.
  • Real food is cheaper. I challenge you to calculate the amount of money that you spend on eating out for a week. This includes coffee, drinks and lunch and dinners out. I can pretty much guarantee that it will be more than buying fruits and veggies at the supermarket for a week. Eating out is not bad in moderation but eating out more than you eat at home starts to add up.
  • Food services are an incredible option: Many of my clients want to eat real food and stop eating out so much but they just don’t have times to cook. Food prepping at home will always be cheaper but if your lifestyle just does not allow the time there are a ton of really good food prep services out there. They can accommodate any diet restrictions and most of the good ones use organic sources.
  • You will teach your family good habits that last a lifetime: So many moms underestimate the influence that they have on the habits of their families. We are the gatekeepers of what our family eats. If we present them with different choices and show them by example how exciting and delicious home cooked meals can be it can change their health and how they view food for the rest of their lives.

So make a commitment to change the way you eat even if it is for one week. Maybe eat out twice instead of 5 times. Maybe cook dinner for your family over the weekend if you always order take out. Maybe do some research on food delivery services. Try to make one small change. When you do I want o hear about it.

It will be different and different is hard but it’s the hard that makes us better.

I would rather have a better life than an easy one.